What I'm gonna do

What I'm gonna do with this anxiety that pushes inside of me so intensely? I just can't stop thinking of him, of me, of the things I missed, on the future to come... I just can't and I feel like I'm in a rollercoaster so high, so low...

Everything in slowly taking back to it's natural course, but there are days when I feel like I've wasted the last year and that my improvements are mere mirages that I remeber when I'm about to drop dead in the desert.

Anyways, here I am, struggling with myself till the very end. Till calm becames my natural state of mind and counciousness.